August 28, 2009

Biographical Information / Mission Statement

For the past five years, Tom Kuzma + Gary Lachance have been staging Unsolicited Dance Parties across Canada and around the world...

Sick of the bar/club scene and sick of the music that other people played at Parties, they broke off, vowing to never again allow themselves or their friends to suffer Bad Music, Bar Rules, Cover Charges, Dumb Bouncers or Inflated Alcohol Prices.

By combining the versatility of the modern Mp3 player with the resilience+volume of the vintage boombox, they created the Ultimate Party Machine: a portable Party-To-Go hybrid that could blare their Own Music as Loud and Late as they pleased.

And, unfettered by any undue costs, rules or curfews, together they would launch countless impromptu Dance Party Takeovers in locations as diverse as pizza parlours, playgrounds, trees and elevators; on buses and subway cars, in hallways and city streets; on beaches, under bridges and roving on bikes; on snow, on water and in the rain.
Aside from the occasional police boombox confiscation, nothing could stop the Party!
Death metal showdowns, Motown beach cruises, all-night 90's dance marathons; it truly was the stuff of legend!

But now,
By way of a thrilling new technological innovation, they plan to Increase the volume, scale and intensity a hundredfold.
Spread the love as far and wide as possible.
And spark a Party Revolution!

This Movement has a name: The Decentralized Dance Party (DDP)
This Movement has an objective: To Return The Party To The People!

Just what is a Decentralized Dance Party?
It's portable (entirely battery powered)
It has a single music broadcasting source, coupled to a powerful, portable FM transmitter
And an unlimited number of synchronized boombox recipients who receive the music signal from the transmitter
Extremely versatile in design, it is totally portable, totally interactive and requires No Time to set up or tear down.
It can go anywhere, at any time, and at minimal cost.
Loud and proud; the most fun you'll ever have.

Why Party indoors?
Or near a power socket?
Pay another cover charge?
Or suffer another curfew?
This is the power of the Revolution!

Together, we will Crush the Despotic Party Paradigms Of Yore and launch a new era of Free And Democratic Open-Source Partying!
Partying that anyone can create, participate in or build upon!
Anytime, anywhere, everywhere!

You're out there.
And you need to Party.
And The Party needs you!

(soon to be illustrated w more photographs)

August 27, 2009

An Epic Teaser

For the Decentralized Dance Party video.. which will be released forthwith!
Conceived and birthed by Mark Boucher!

August 18, 2009

Hipster Bee

For the past couple of weeks, for the first time, people have been informing us that we're 'hipsters'.

Which is funny for us, cause we were under the impression that hipster meant tight pants + flannel + neck scarves + art shows + indie music.

We are way out of the loop here in Vancouver and have been since we arrived.
Perennial outsiders, who have no idea what is going on or what the latest trend may be...

But if to be hipster now means to dress like a Flamboyant Child, Laugh At Yourself and have the Most Fun Possible then we stand guilty as charged.

If they've finally caught on to what we've been wearing and doing for the past 10 years and how much fun it is then Power To Them!

The more people full-time-rocking Neon, Spandex, Hypercolor, Belly Shirts, 1-Pieces, Fannypacks and Halloween Costumes the better in Nofuncouver!

August 17, 2009

Zombie Walk Toe Nasty Bat Hang

Some photos from the tail-end of the 2009 Zombie Walk.
It was great times, featuring an impromptu Zombie Dance Party and the startling debut of both the Toe Nasty and the Bat Hang!
All photos c/o Sarah Hamilton

This Sensational New Blog Header

Was created by Sarah Hamilton, our dear friend and Resident Photo Wizardress

New Acquisition

A friend spotted this vintage JVC gem in an alleyway this evening.
Very heavy (40lbs) and very cool, with tons of inputs/outputs and tonnes of potential!

August 16, 2009

Zombie Walk 2009 Was A Roaring Success!

Synchronized Boomboxes, Dance Partying, ZomBee, Bat Hangs and Toe Nasties!
More photo and video soon to follow!

August 15, 2009

Zombie Walk Tomorrow.

Time to get hellacious for the fourth year running...

August 10, 2009


Due to a miscommunication, our inaugural DJ gig at the Narrow was called off, but we popped by anyhow for a few minutes in order to test our 90's jams on an unsuspecting audience...

It seemed a pretty button-down crowd, and not the sort who'd take kindly to a high-intensity Booty Bass onslaught, so we played it conservative, leading in with Corona's 'Rhythm Of The Night', followed by La Bouche's 'Sweet Dreams'. And our intrusion was unexpectedly well received, toes tapping and pleasant surprise roundly expressed. Emboldened, we stepped things up a notch, dropping Reel 2 Real's lean+mean opus 'I Like To Move It'

You can't play this in a bar! Insisted one indignant patron, who'd earlier been treating us to his 'The Jam' records

Why not? We countered.

And then the beat hit, prompting an immediate retraction

Physically-fit-a! Physically fit-a! Ahhahhhaha alright! Fuck it, you're right, you're right!

And our new friend wasn't alone in his enthusiasm, with many others prompted to also rise from their seats and 'get on down'. An upbeat vibe spread throughout the establishment and held fast as we DJ'd the rest of the evening away...

It was an interesting experiment, but not much of a party.

So we grabbed our mobile DJing unit and headed out for a high-decibel adventure thru the City That Always Sleeps with a couple of ladyfriends...

Stopping at a Shell station for snack food, Sarah decided to stage an impromptu photoshoot (as Tom and I had inadvertently coordinated outfits) and were approached by a slightly-crazed-looking guy on a bike who said he was from Winnipeg and wanted directions to a party and drugs if we had any.

We spun our fanny packs full circle, cranked up some fucking So So Def Bass All Stars and told him that we were the party.

There would be no contesting our claim.

Meandering further and rocking out hard to 'Koochie Kuterz', our new friend began exhibiting signs of psychosis, challenging oncoming traffic and insisting that although he'd been hit by three cars already that day that he also had a "right to the road". He'd been ingesting large quantities of Gin, Ecstasy, and whatever else all night and there would be no contesting his claim either.

Rambling on towards Science World and inspired by our counterpart's bravado, I decided to challenge a small plastic bag laying in the McDonald's Parking lot. Naturally, it was filled with thumbtacks, which punctured both my 'puncture proof' tires in several places.

With two flat tires, I pushed on to Science World...

And though deliriously drunk, our new friend luckily had the presence of mind to carry a pump and patch kit. He patched both tires first try and spent the rest of the evening with us, sipping on wine, enjoying+discussing Meatloaf's unparalleled body of work and fooling around on the playground.. he was a pretty cool dude after all.

About 6AM it started getting light and Russ Chimes' incredible new 'Esper Mix' guided us home as a refreshing Summer rain began to fall...

Not a bad evening.

(all good photos c/o Sarah Hamilton)

August 8, 2009

The First Ever Decentralized Dance Party Was A Success!

It's hard to tell, but we had 16 synchronized boomboxes blasting simultaneously!
Now working on editing the video footage and plotting Decentralized Dance Party #2
(photos c/o Sarah Hamilton)

August 7, 2009

If You're Reading This

You likely just partook in the first ever Decentralized Dance Party.
And you likely enjoyed yourself.
And that is great.

We're planning to keep going with this, taking everything to the next level, with more lights, more boomboxes, more volume, more surprises, more risk, more innovation and more funnnnnn.

Updates, videos and new dance party locations will soon be announced, so stay tuned!

And in the meantime, Tom and I will be debuting our indoor DJ prowess at The Narrow this very evening (Saturday August 8th). So come on down and indulge in the uproariousness that is:
Tom + Gary's Bootyriffic 90's Butt Blast Bonanza!